The Joys and Sensibility of Self-Play

Many people view masturbation as a necessary thing to take the edge off sexual urges, taking only a few minutes. However, self-play is an avenue for pleasure, self-discovery, experimentation and learning, and for acting out fantasies your partner might not be willing to share with you yet. It is the safest form of sex. It is also the least expensive, even if you do buy yourself a fancy toy to play with once in a while.

Whether a person takes a few minutes or hours, the person’s fantasies are at the heart of the experience and come from a variety of sources. Watching a pornographic movie, or reading a sexy story can be a source of your fantasies, or they can be entirely in your own mind. Even writing out your own fantasies as stories can be very exciting!

Some folks use self-play times to explore cross-dressing, don kinky-wear like latex or PVC clothing, or sexy leather clothing items. Fetish clothing includes collars, jump-suits, leggings or sexy tops and, of course, sexy lingerie. Mild sensation-play additions such as nipple or clitoral clamps, nipple suction devices, scrotum parachutes with weights, ball stretchers/dividers, sexy-looking cock-rings, or light-weight clothespins or hair clips for mild S&M stimulation. All of these touches add to the general atmosphere and excitement.

Many toys that are new to you will have a “learning curve” to reveal their full potential. Many purchasers of Kegel balls, for instance, report not getting the full benefit until their third attempt with those toys. The same is true with anal explorations. So, keep at something a few times and really sensitize yourself to what other ways you can move/flex/position yourself/wriggle/tighten/etc., that make the toy produce a different effect until you get that “a-ha” moment!

If you use toys, keep them clean with either soap and water or a toy cleaner. Non-silicone dildos and anal toys will last longer and are far more hygienic if you use a condom on them, and then the clean-up is quick and easy. Silicone toys are made out of the best material for sex toys. Silicone toys are non-porous and won’t harbor bacteria, so they’re very hygienic. Also, they can be sanitized by  boiling or with disinfectant. Because of their expense, experiment with non-silicone, less expensive versions of similar toys until you learn exactly what you like. The silicone versions you purchase later on will last you years, if not for a lifetime!

Many people discover anal play for the first time via masturbation, and the same rules apply as found in my article on that subject. Basically: Go slow, and use lots of lube.  For anal toys, the silicone toys rule in terms of hygiene. There are also hard plastic toys (like the Aneros line for male prostate stimulation) made of the same plastics used for medical implants. Use a condom on any toys made of soft, porous materials. They will last longer, afterwards clean up is quick and easy, and it is the only hygienic way to use non-silicone toys during anal play.

Sensual self-exploration and discovery is also part of the rich potential that is inherent in self-play. Try different things to express your fantasies or experience new sensations, or new kinds of toys.  All are weapons in your arsenal of enjoyable adventuring.  Self-play is more than simply pleasurable. It is part of an exciting sexual journey. Set aside time to explore yourself and your body’s possibilities. You have countless erogenous zones. Visit as many as you can.