We frequently entertain guests who have never watched an adult movie. “How do I start?” they ask, or, “What kind of movies might my partner like?”
There are no one-size-fits-all answers to these questions, but keep these tips in mind for a more pleasant porn experience.
1) Freely use the remote control, particularly the fast-forward and mute buttons.
Like any other film, porn movies may have slow parts or scenes you just don’t find erotic. Sometimes a performer makes noises that are supposed to be sexy, but you find them annoying. It is perfectly okay to fast-forward through the parts that aren’t doing it for you. Also, the mute button is your best defense against irritating music or squeaky-voiced performers.
2) Do not pressure yourself or your partner to watch an adult movie.
You don’t have to watch an adult film if you don’t want to, or even certain parts of it (see Rule 1), and no one should be pressured into watching something he doesn’t want to see. Fortunately, there are a lot of different types of adult films and the quality varies just like with non-X-rated movies, so rent a few different kinds and see if any strike your fancy. After watching a few, if it becomes clear that watching porn doesn’t arouse you (or your partner), it’s time to explore other things. Remember, this is supposed to be fun!
3) It’s okay to laugh.
Sex looks silly sometimes. Really. No, really. There may come a moment where you giggle while the on-screen couple is doing something wildly erotic. It’s okay to laugh! You will not hurt the feelings of the people on your screen.
4) Acknowledge conflicting emotions. It is possible to be aroused and repulsed at the same time.
Sometimes we find ourselves turned on by unexpected things. Pat of our brain says, “Ew!” while another part says, “That’s kind of hot.” That’s a common experience. Reflect on what about the scene or act turned you on, and why you were repulsed. You might learn something new about yourself.
5) Fantasies are fantasies. Watching them acted out on film does not make you a bad person, or mean you want to act them out yourself.
Some common sexual fantasies involve bondage and being “forced” to endure sexual acts. That does not mean people actually want to be kidnapped and raped. Remember, porn is essentially make-believe (see Rule 7) and being aroused by it does not mean you would ever do that to someone else or necessarily want it done to you.
6) If at first you watch bad porn, try, try again.
It’s easy to get discouraged if all you seem to encounter is bad porn. The good news is there is lot of porn out there! Frisky Business Boutique has thousands of adult videos available for rent at our store. It’s a low-cost way to watch higher-end movies and find ones you like. Many adult film studios also offer their movies online through video-on-demand services. Keep trying and make use of available resources.
7) Remember that porn is not real.
Porn performers are waxed, shaved, made-up, surgically altered, and acting. They are not sharing intimacy, and they may not even be having fun.
8) Have higher standards for your own intimate relations than porn star sex.
Porn is not the standard by which people should measure their sex lives (see Rule 7). Strive for having actual fun and intimacy with your partner(s).
9) Adult films are not examples of safer sex practices.
Safer sex practices include condoms, dental dams, lubricant, good communication with your partner(s), basic hygiene, and self-respect.
10) Any adult video experience is what you make of it and bring to it, for better or worse. Lighten up, lean back, don’t take it too seriously, and have fun with it!