Dispelling Anal Sex Myths
Many people are nervous to try any kind of anal play because of inaccurate information they may have heard from a friend or read online. Anal sex can be truly enjoyable when you are armed with the right information and the right lube! Let’s take a look at some common myths about anal sex and talk about how you can make your anal play as safe and enjoyable as possible!
Myth: Anal sex always hurts.
Reality: With enough preparation, anal sex does not hurt. Let’s be clear: shoving something large in your anus without lubricant or stretching the muscles first will most certainly cause pain. The key to painless anal play is using a good, thick lubricant and going nice and slow. Often people will use one or two fingers or a small to medium sized anal plug to gently stretch the anus to take something slightly larger. Our anuses are used to pushing things out, not taking things in, so it’s important to relax the body and start small, gradually working your way up in size to eventually take a dildo or penis. When increasing the size of whatever you’re taking anally, make sure to take your time inserting it. Taking deep breaths will help you focus on relaxing and opening up the anus.
Myth: Anal is “dirty.”
Reality: The rectum and anus generally have very little fecal matter in them, so there isn’t much to fear. It is recommended that you have a bowel movement about an hour before engaging in anal play. If you’re still nervous about it, you can take some toilet paper, insert it about half an inch into the anus and swivel around. And if you’re STILL nervous, you can perform an enema, which will help clean the anus out and get rid of any excess fecal matter that may be hanging around. And remember, this is important, do not go straight from anal sex to vaginal sex! That can cause vaginal infections. Wash your toys, body, or switch condoms in between to ensure safety and comfort.
Myth: Numbing agents will make anal sex easier.
Reality: Numbing products alleviate the fear of pain during anal play, but I always say use these products with caution. Pain during anal play is a sign that something is wrong and you may need to slow down or use more lubricant. If you numb the area and can’t feel the pain, then you could be potentially causing damage in your body without realizing it. Use these products sparingly to ease your mind about the process, but don’t rely too heavily on them. They are not lubricants, so be sure you use a lot of lubricant when engaging in anal play.
Myth: Men shouldn’t enjoy being penetrated anally.
Reality: Simply untrue! For men who have prostates, anal play has the potential to be wildly pleasurable. The prostate is often considered the “male g-spot” and can cause intense sensation when stimulated anally. There are anal toys designed specifically to stimulate the prostate, so even if pegging isn’t for you, there are toys men can wear to stimulate the prostate while having vaginal intercourse. If your partner shames you for your anal desires, then they might not be the right partner for you!
Myth: Frequent anal sex will cause incontinence.
Reality: I have heard from some people that they are worried having anal sex will permanently damage their bodies so much that they will lose control of their bowel movements. Regular, healthy anal sex will not cause this problem. Like the vagina, the anus will return to its normal size after penetration.
Myth: Anal sex is risk-free.
Reality: Anal sex will not cause pregnancy, but there are still sexually transmitted infections (STIs) to be concerned about. In fact, anal sex is often considered even more risky because the skin of the rectum is more fragile and prone to tearing if not lubricated properly. So if you have a penis make sure to wear a condom for anal sex, as condoms are still the best way to prevent STIs. If you are using toys, be sure to clean the toys in between uses if you intend to share the toy.
If you still are not interested in anal sex after getting a good dose of information, that is perfectly fine. Maybe it just is not for you, and no one should pressure you into something you don’t want to do! I do hope this information helps you make healthy and safe decisions about how to have fun, hot anal sex. Remember, there’s nothing shameful about a little anal!
- Gaby Soto-Lemus